August 12, 2002 4:30 a.m.
Debby passed into the Kingdom of God, peacefully in her sleep.
God bless her and her family, always and forever.
A funeral mass will be held on:
Friday, August 16, 2002
10:00 a.m.
McKinney, Texas
A reception will follow at Danny's brother Michael's home.
A private graveside service for family and closest friends will be held on Saturday.
August 11, 2002
It appears that God is choosing to call Debby home sooner than the 2-6 months estimated by her doctors just a few short days ago. He has His own calendar and will call for her in His time. Nobody knows when, but soon. Much too soon.
August 10, 2002
Debby's condition has deteriorated to a state not much better than where she was a
month ago. It is hard to say what is causing it, whether it is the disease or the ulcer medication, but the end result is the same. She is not doing well.
August 8, 2002
Yesterday I saw my wife go from a very unpleasant state of being sick with blood, to being awake and eating jello all because someone had a big enough heart to donate plasma. This giver of life gave Debby enough blood clotters to stop the bleeding in her stomach so that she could have the drainage tube removed and be able to ingest food and liquid. Things are still very touch and go, but we'll know more today after they scope the stomach.
If you have a healthy heart and can afford the 30 minutes to donate blood, I know that many sick people would appreciate it! Cancer patients are one of the biggest draws on the nations blood banks. I know that I'll be dusting off my donation card and donating this week.
Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes ~Danny
UPDATE
Some better news. Debby was feeling well enough to talk on the phone this afternoon. She sounded happy and good. No wonder...she gets to go home today! The doctors have decided not to do the endiscope since it would be more stressful to her and not really show enough to let them know much more than they do now.
UPDATE
Debby is home. This will be her last hospital visit. The only course of action from here on out will be nature's course. The bleeding was more than likely caused by an ulcer and she is being treated as such. If it was anything else, there would have been nothing they could do anyway. This particular ulcer may be at bay, but that's not to say others won't form. Ulcers and such are the body's own way of weakening itself. It actually helps to ease her on to the next steps. This is natural.
The gastroendorologist said 2 months or so; the oncologist is say 3 - 6, unless something major happens. The pain is under control right now. Debby now has prescriptions for anxiety and depression, as well as plenty of pain meds. She will be kept comfortable.
Danny and Debby are concerned that everyone realizes the finality of this. Some seem to be in a state of denial, ignoring what will happen. It is one thing to be optimistic for a miracle, but it is another to believe that Debby is healing and better because of blood infusions. The prognosis is the same. Debby is terminal and it will be easier on her if she knows she is allowed to make her passage when the time comes, without being made to feel that she has let everyone down.
August 7, 2002
The family's trip to Lake Texoma has been indefinitely postponed, as has their planned gathering this weekend with some old friends. Debby was taken to the hospital last night. She has been spitting up blood and the doctors think she may have developed an ulcer. With her plate count so low, it is impossible for her blood to clot, so they have decided to give her a transfusion.
It is also possible that the bleeding is because of a tumor. If so, there is little that can be done other than pain management.
At this time, it is too soon to know the exact cause for these new symptoms. They are doing extensive testing to determine the nature of the problem so they can treat it accordingly. Debby will be in the hospital for 3 days and has been administered strong medication to control her pain.
August 6, 2002
Debby is not feeling at all well and she wants to persuade everyone to be realistic about
her prognosis. She is afraid that people think she is getting better, but it appears that the pendulum may be starting to swing back to the other side. She is getting more and more tired as well as having a lot of pressure on the abdomen
She has a doctor's appointment on Friday and will ask to see if the pressure on the abdomen is fluid that can be drained. If so, it should provide some comfort.
Debby still wants a miracle, but does not feel that her recent apparent wellness is one.
August 5, 2002
Debby's feet are really swollen and she's having some abdominal pain and pressure
but she was feeling well enough to go back-to-school shopping on Friday and Saturday. These moments of normalcy have become priceless.
An old neighbor who moved away a couple of years ago is in town to visit the family.
Your generous contributions have brought the family from within $70 of being able to pay their part of what insurance did not cover for Debby's 3-day hospital stay when they diagnosed the cancer had spread. A simple thank you does not seem enough, but we hope you all will accept it with the greatest sincerity in which it is given.
July 31, 2002
Unfortunately, Debby does not feel she will have the strength to go to the Gulf Coast, so the tropical vacation won't happen. Danny and Debby are, however, going to look at getting a cabin on Lake Texoma. It's closer to the house, so if anything happens they can get back to the Metroplex relatively quick.
They have also decided to sell Debby's 1993 Toyota Corolla DX. It's silver, has 107,000 miles on it. power locks, cruise control, recently replaced altenator, battery, new tires, and tags. They are asking $4,000.00.
Also, Danny would like to thank everyone who has contributed to the Medical Fund. They have received quite a few donations and it will definitley help!
July 29, 2002
"Pepe" has been sold.
July 26, 2002
Debby has been given the "OK" to take a short trip to Oklahoma to visit her grandmother who is recovering from a stroke.
Because of the circumstances, Danny has decided to sell "Pepe", his 1976 Triumph Spitfire. You can find information about the car and his asking price at www.crabappl3.homestead.com. If you know anyone who would be interested, please direct them to that site for contact information.
July 24, 2002
The following is an e-mail Danny received from a friend of the family who knows someone doing the Avon 3-Day Walk. Danny and Debby would like to let anyone who is thinking of making a contribution to the medical fund to have the choice of making a pledge to this walker.
Hi Danny,
Remember when I was visiting I told you my good friend Virginia Owens will be walking in the Avon walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu, CA and you told me to give you her walker number and you would post it on the website for me..? well, here's a portion of the email she sent me with her info:
*** The information for the Breast Cancer walk is:
Event Code: 3DLA-2002
Participant #: 9431
Check Digit: 8
Tell your friends thank you for posting this. I will walk the whole 60 miles.
July 23, 2002
Debby continues to feel relatively well, needing a minimal amount of medication to control her pain at this point. It is difficult to know how long this will last since she is not in remission, but she is not wasting her time worrying about that. Her main focus right now is to take advantage of this time to guide her children so that they will carry on and grow into the fine adults she knows they will be.
She was also talking about having her mother take her out for a pedicure. It is the little things in life that sometimes hold greatest pleasures. We are all wise to remember that.
July 22, 2002
Being that we have had a 180 degree change from last week, Danny will be returning to work tomorrow. He is planning on working from 7AM - 1PM in the office and then a couple of hours at home each day. Debby's mom will be here during the day so he feels she'll be in good company and well cared for.
Debby's health has improved, meaning she is still weak, but not near-comatose like last week. We believe that the aggressive chemo and pain regimen that she was on was too much for what is left of her liver, and that she was being slowly poisoned by the drugs. Since taking her off of the chemo she has been able to slowly rid herself of the toxins and is, healthwise, near where she was 3 weeks ago, just a lot weaker. She even wants a Whataburger for lunch today!
We are still looking at a terminal outcome, but we believe that all the prayers from everyone helped get us through this crisis and gave us more time.
Thanks for your support
July 21, 2002
Another good day. Debby was awake for most of the day, enjoyed some pineapple and watermelon and even a shower. She watched her favorite movie, Harvey, with her friends and family and got to visit with Tracey one more time before she had to return home.
July 20, 2002
What a remarkable day this was. Debby was awake and alert for most of the day and was able to come downstairs to enjoy a visit from her brother, Jason, and her best childhood friend, Tracey, who was able to fly in from Canada under incredible circumstances. Tracey did not think she would be able to make the trip, but as fate would have it, another of their friends just happened to be doing a lookup on Google to see if he could find anything on his old friend, Debby Shaw and happened across this site. That set a ball in motion that ended with him finding Tracey and purchasing for her a ticket so that she could come and spend some time with her friend whom neither had not seen in many years. God does work in mysterious ways.
Many other friends and family also stopped by and Debby seemed to truly enjoy visiting.
She asked Danny to put in the video of their wedding and we all had fun watching Debby giggle every time she looked at her husband-to-be as she tried to recite her vows. My, but those two were young when they were married, but what a beautiful marriage they have had.
Debby is resting now, but has once again asked for people to come upstairs to keep her company. We all feel blessed that she has had such a good day. She said she is looking forward to having someone read to her the messages that have been left to her in the Guest Book. Every word of love and encouragement means the world to us. Thank you all. Your prayers have made the difference.
July 19, 2002
There has been no significant change in Debby's condition. She has just asked that people come upstairs to visit with her. I guess she heard us laughing downstairs and doesn't like being left out. She is a real trooper. I am so proud of her.
Debby's mother, Sandi, would like to thank everybody for all of the special prayers, the love and support shown to the family during this difficult time.
Right now, we are in search for the book "The True Work of Dying" by Jan Selliken-Bernard/Miriam Schneider. It is out of print and has been for some time, but if anyone can find it or tell us where we might be able to aquire it quickly, we would greatly appreciate it. You can e-mail me at windypiddy@aol.com with any information you have on this book. Thank you!
UPDATE
What amazing friends this family has! Danny just got a phone call not a half hour after the update was posted, stating that the book has already been purchased and is on the way. Thank you so very much.
July 18, 2002
July 17, 2002
Debby has requested a hospital bed and some other items that will aid in her care and comfort. They will be delivered this afternoon. Danny has slept next to his wife for the last time.
The family has requested that, in lieu of flowers, your gift of a dontion to the Deborah Shaw Medical Fund would be greatly appreciated. Any money left over after covering medical expenses would go into a college fund for Andy and Allie.
July 16, 2002
Today, Debby has slept more than she has been awake. She is not in pain.
This morning, she asked Danny when "it" is going to happen. With her last rites having already been administered, she has been granted permission by those who love her so dearly, to give up her fight whenever she is ready.
Danny has called for his sisters to come to Dallas, to join the rest of the family already by their side.
It is time.
July 15, 2002
Debby is very alert today. She has been talking with her mom and listing out all of the things she wanted to say or do with various people.
Hospice has been called and that ball is rolling. Everything else is in place.
July 13, 2002
Debby is home now. The MRI is negative. Unfortunately, this is not the good news that it may seem. The symptoms Debby is currently experiencing are those of someone with liver failure. There is no treatment for that. Other than pain medicine, it is done. No more chemo. No more radiation. No more needles
The doctor feels that there is little time left. A couple of days to a week.
July 12, 2002
Debby will be having an MRI of her head done to determine if the sleepiness, shakes and loss of balance may be due to cancer in the brain. This will probably be scheduled for early next week. She had a real tough morning and is having a hard time keeping track of time or retaining any
information.
UPDATE
She will be going in for the MRI at 6:30 tonight and will have a new medi-port installed next Monday. Remember that last medi-port was installed in the subclavian artery which cause a 40% blockage in the artery. Hopefully they'll get it right this time.
July 9, 2002
Debby's mom took her to her first Radiation treatment followed by her first Navelbine chemo treatment. She is feeling much better today than yesterday. Adriamycin/Cytoxan were the first chemo drugs Debby had been administered.
The Oncologist said that of a 100 people with like cancers and growth patterns, a majority of them make it to 9 months, but research that Danny found today on Navelbine for metastatic breast cancer had extended the majoritiy of those studied to 64 weeks
The webmaster at the fitness site that Danny visits not only raised $17,000 for the Susan B. Kolman center last weekend with a Lift for the Cure event, but he also has registered a star in Debby Shaw's name.
The following are excerpts taken from a series of e-mails that I received from Angela Van Buskirk, a member of the online community LEANandSTRONG , where Danny and Debby had been active members since before she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Angela contacted me to ask if there was anything she could do to help Danny and Debby, as well as their children, during this difficult time. She offered to send food or school supplies or whatever else the family might need. I thanked Angela for her generosity and explained that, at this time, the mounting medical expenses are their biggest financial burden and that even a donation as small as $5.00 would help take their minds off of this tedious worldly concern and allow them to focus their energy on the more important matter of seeing Debby through her journey. Here is Angela's response. Make sure you have a tissue handy, it is sure to make you weep. ~Patty
Have you ever felt that God was pulling you in a direction and you had no power over the work? This is it.... I'm being pulled :) I never ignore Him when He talks....He doesn't like that one bit! :)
I am talking to Erik Funderburk on the L&S site right now -- I want to see if I can get some of the local businesses to donate some items and have a silent auction with the proceeds going to Danny and Debby. I will keep you posted. This was one of those things that just happened to me today, and I am running with it. God is good, He takes care of us so well, and loves it when we listen and trust him.....
******************
I just wanted to give you an update on my fundraising efforts.
I haven't been able to get in touch with Erik yet; HOWEVER, that is not keeping me from continuing to move forward.
So far, I have a Lowes gift certificate, Chili's gift certificates and I have a lot of promising "YOU BET" offers in the wings. I am planning to start a 3-day auction on E-bay some time within the next week, and the E-bay ID will be (unless it is taken) L&S4D&D
I would like very much to include a piece in the information cover for each item about Danny and Debby -- something the entire family approves. I don't want it to be MY words because that wouldn't be right. Maybe a link to the wonderful website you created for them? I want very much to show every wonderful reason they SHOULD bid on these items.
After the auctions close, and everyone pays for their auctions, I will send one lump payment to the medical fund for every penny raised.
Anyway, that is my brain child so far --- i'm sure it is not without flaw, but my heart is DEFINITELY in the right place. My kids even want to do something for the kids :) I thought that was just about as sweet as can be. They make me very proud :)
*****************
Isn't it funny how you can love someone like you are a member of the family, and not even be related? I am drawn to Danny and Debby for some reason .... and every time I get an update I cry. It is very strange, I know, and many won't understand.... but I feel very connected to them.
****************
This is the letter that Angela has been sending out to raise donated items for the Auction:
Good morning!
My name is Angela Van Buskirk. I know your schedule is quite hectic; however, if you would allow me a few moments of your extremely valuable time, I would appreciate it.
I am a member of an online community, www.leanandstrong.com. One of our community members, Danny Shaw, has been attacked. The attack was brutal, unprovoked, and unfortunately will prove to be an attack that will forever change his life. The attacker: Breast cancer. The victim: His beautiful wife, Debby. I cannot even begin to tell you how wonderful these two people are. Their life together has given them two beautiful children, many friends, and much happiness. Now the attacker is taking that away from them... and will go unpunished for its actions. Please take a moment to visit: http://pidd.homestead.com/fordebby.html and read what wonderful outpouring of support is necessary right now.
My reason for writing is simple. I only know them through the online community. I have never met Danny nor Debby in person, and only know them through their posts, their website and the community. I do, however, know when someone is in need -- and the need can't be met unless someone steps "out of the box" and holds out their hand. I decided to step out. Starting August 17, 2002, I will be hosting an online auction at www.Ebay.com. The auction will be comprised solely of donated items. Members of our online community are donating wonderful treasures, and many neighborhood businesses have donated gift certificates, gift cards, etc. My plea is that you have something you can donate to this auction. Every penny raised will go to the Shaw Medical Fund that has been established (please see the above link). Insurance can't come close to covering the entire expense being encountered during this time.
No item is too small. Every penny we raise from every item, no matter how large or how small, will be sent to Danny and Debby's medical expense fund.
We can't stop the attacker. However, we CAN help ease the pain this monster is leaving in it's wake.
I thank you for your time, and your support.
Angela K. Van Buskirk, CMT
****************
I'm getting so many emails I can't even send them all :) Not only THAT -- I am going to go ahead and start the auctions NOW ... so much coming in, and we just don't know what kind of time we have so WHY WAIT!!
****************
THIS AUCTION HAS ENDED
Auction Results
$100.00 Best Buy Gift Certificate - Sold for $150.00
$15.00 Chili's Gift Certificate - Sold for $25.00
