Pebble on the Shore Written and Read by Daniel Shaw for the Buriel Ceremony As I sat listening to the waves From the music your mother brought, I thought of the strength it takes For a pebble to fall from The Rock. You lay upon the sandy shore And waited for your time to come. Each pebble that had gone before Was waiting with His son. The waves came in a little closer As the tide came rushing in, We reached out to hold you As your new life would begin. The ocean is large and fast Its current strong and true. God fills its waters vast With each tear we cry for you. I know that you are in peace And in time we will be too. I treasure all of your memories Three words: I Love You! Debby Shaw May 18, 1968 - August 12, 2002 |
Eulogy Delivered By Sandra Miles, Debby's Mother Debby's life reminds me of what it means to be extraordinary. We use that word a lot and we seem ot give it a pretty narrow definition. Debby didn't work to make herself rich or famous or do any of the other things that people often call "extraordinary." But she worked hard. She gave her heart and soul to her marriage. Together, Debby and Danny overcame odds that prove to be too much for many young couples. They succeeded because they match optimism with a willingness to do what it took to make it work. Debby gave her heart and soul to her children, too. She wasn't content to just tell them the right way to live. She had to be an example to them as well. So recently, she set out to earn a bachelor's degree in business. She started out at community college and would have transferred to a four-year college to finish. The only thing that could stop her was the cancer itself. To Debby, giving herself and her family a comfortable home meant not just giving them material things. It meant giving them a place where she could nurture in them a rare depth of character. In a world preoccupied with image, that was extraordinary. It was "beyond the ordinary." The only fear that Debby had was that her work here on Earth wasn't completed. She worried about leaving me. After all, she had been not only my daughter, but my best friend...my comfort during troubled times, and most of all, one of the greatest joys of my life. She worried about leaving Danny, the love of her life and her true soul mate. Could his loving and generous heart withstand the loss? And would he remember to transfer the money into the pool account each month? She worried about leaving her wonderful children, Andy and Allie, just at the beginning of their teenage years. Who could help Danny guide them through the turbulent years ahead as they go from children to young adults? She was leaving her job incomplete and that just wouldn't do. Debby left us with sad hearts and a solid foundation built on unconditional love. She taught us the qualities of integrity, courage, determination, compassion and a drive to be all that we can be. She didn't tell us those things, she showed us the way through her actions and her deeds. It was the way she lived her life. So somehow, we will persevere because Debby would stand for nothing less. With the help of a loving family and devoted friends, we will complete Debby's work for her, remembering that she will only accept our very best. She's looking down on us from Heaven, and we won't disappoint her. |
Debby was laid to rest on Saturday, August 17, 2002. This page highlights the memorials and eulogies offered during the funeral mass and burial ceremonies, as well as some final thoughts from family and friends who were unable to voice their hearts at that time. |
In Paradisum May the angels lead you into paradise At your coming, may the martyrs receive you And lead you into the Holy City of Jeruselum. May the chorus of angels receive you And with Lazarus, once poor May you have Eternal Rest. Eternal Rest grant unto Debby, oh Lord And let your Perpetual Light shine upon her. May hers and the souls of all the Faithfully Departed Through the Mercy of God, Rest In Peace. |
In Paradisum May the angels lead you into paradise At your coming, may the martyrs receive you And lead you into the Holy City of Jeruselum. May the chorus of angels receive you And with Lazarus, once poor May you have Eternal Rest. Eternal Rest grant unto Debby, oh Lord And let your Perpetual Light shine upon her. May hers and the souls of all the Faithfully Departed Through the Mercy of God, Rest In Peace. |
Deborah Kay Shaw was born May 18, 1968 in Tulsa, Oklahoma and died August 12, 2002 of breast cancer. She is survived by her husband, Daniel, her son, Andrew and daughter, Alexandria, her mother, Sandra K. Miles and husband Ron, her father, Douglas Paris and brother, Jason Paris. |
Recessional Hymn sung by Michael Shaw after the Funeral Mass. |
The author of The Dash poem which was beautifully recited from memory by Allie during Debby's burial service has asked that I remove the verse from this website for copyright reasons. |
God saw you gettting tired and a cure was not to be, So He put His arms around you and whispered, "Come to Me." With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away, And although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating. Hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best. |
The day was long, the burden I had borne Seemed heavier than 1 could longer bear And then it lifted ~ but I did not know Someone had knelt in prayer; Had taken me to God that very hour and Asked the easing of the load, and He in Infinite compassion, had stooped down and Taken it from me. We cannot tell as often as we pray for some Bewildered one, hurt and distressed the Answer comes but many times those hearts Find sudden peace and rest. Some one had prayed, and Faith, a reaching Hand took hold of God and brought Him Down that day so many, many hearts have Need of prayer; Oh, let us pray! Author Unknown |
In Loving Memory |
For the Love of Debby 8/19/02 By: Julie Rushton What words could ever show enough of the love that Debby shared with so many. I keep thinking, I should have said something at the service, yet no words seemed quite enough. While my mind just swims with memories of her and Danny and the life they built for their family, I cannot help but reflect on my own life. They started out so young, but with a strength of survival that we all should have. They were determined to last forever together and they have. The love they based their whole foundation on is more than most of get the chance to own for even a little while. The love they have is enough to last a lifetime and more. For that love will continue even after the body can not. I am so proud of both families at this time, my brother Danny who stood before the rest of us, and read the words that his heart had poured out and were meant for the love of his life. For standing brave and professing his undying love for his wonderful wife, but being strong for his children all the while. I am proud of her children, Allie for reading a lovely poem in her honor by memory, and Andy who wants to stay strong and help his family through such a hard time. I am proud of Mike my brother, who stood beside my brother Danny and helped ease the burden of burial. He helped establish a service and burial that would make Debby proud. Sandi, who refused to let her daughter be alone at the end. She helped ease the pain, and helped her proceed to the next journey she was to go down, prepared. Losing a daughter and friend is more than anyone should ever have to go through, but she showed strength and love all the time. My sister Patty, with which her beautiful words and creative achievements were able to build a wonderful website in which so many could be touched by the love of Debby and Danny, as well as be a tribute that could be surpassed by none. She also found the strength to be the support for my brother through all of this hardship. She was the shoulder he could cry on. To Beth and Lars, who were the best of friends to them. They were there whenever something was needed. We should all have friends that we can count on that way. Every family member and friend was a person to be proud of at this most difficult time. The love at the mass and at the final service was truly felt. What a wonderful gift that God has given us, each other. I am so touched by all the hearts of family, friends and strangers. All that gave the best they have to offer. I just hope the best we have to give does not always wait until the end. I hope that we all can be touched a little with what has happened and give just that little extra of ourselves to those we love everyday. Why wait? Showing love is easy. It is hard when there is no time left to show it. We need to give and help others everyday if we are ever going to be truly free at the end. I have no tribute or words great enough for Debby's honor. She was an inspiration, and a beautiful person that I can only say I am proud to be part of her family. I just hope that I can live my life half as well as she did. That I can help others achieve their very best, while achieving my own. May God hold her dear to Him and help us through our own loss. I will look up at the sky and try to find her star, for I know it will be strong and bright, as she was here on Earth. All that is left to say is good-bye, Debby. You will always be a part of my family and me. You will never be forgotten. God Bless! Julie For the Love of Debby: For the love of Debby, so many lives have been touched For the love of Debby, her family has never loved so much. Just like a wave across the shore will touch the sand So did her life touch my brother's hand. Like a sunset shining on the water with a glow So is her love shining now on us below. Like a shooting star that moves through the sky brightly Her brightness moves through our hearts ever so lightly. Now like the sun going down only to rise as before Her life with us has ended but her spirit will rise once more. For the love of Debby, so many lives have been touched For the love of Debby, her family has never loved so much. With all my love for her and her family Julie Rushton |
EULOGY DELIVERED BY DEBBY'S STEP-SISTER, JENNA It was only yesterday that I remembered: Debby and I were the only two bridesmaids at the wedding of my father and her mother. Now that I remember, I suddenly realize: how incredibly special it was that Sandi picked, of all people, a ten-year-old and a seventeen-year-old to stand with her as she made that important next step in her life. It is just such memories as this that keep reminding me just how special this family is. It was this family my family, Debby's family, Danny's family that took care of Debby during her illness. And it is this family that will continue to honor Debby by taking care of each other, and pulling each other together. When I say we'll pull each other together, I don't mean we won't let each other cry and grieve. I've heard people say "pull yourself together" when they want you to stop crying. Somehow, to some people, crying has become a sign of weakness. But I believe when we let ourselves cry, we are at our strongest. I suspect that what Debby would want for all of us to find in the long run is peace for our souls. And Debby knew that it was only together, as a family, that we would achieve that. By ourselves, it would be all too easy to let ourselves come apart. But together, our mutual love for Debby, and our desire to honor her memory in everything we do, will pull us through. So I hope you won't mind if I read to you a blessing I've always found to be of great comfort: The peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, be amongst you and remain with you always. |
Debby had always tried to keep a personal journal and had on many times purchased journals with good intent. I discovered no less than 5 of these today with only a half dozen entries in each. Here is the last journal entry which had a bookmark in it. Even after she's gone, she still proves her strength. -Danny 8-23-00 I'm reading a meditation book... I have come to realize I need to give more of myself. At the end of my life I want to know that I have of myself to the people I love. I need to get out of the trappings of always being busy. Take time to write a note or make a phone call. I may not be able to visit love ones often but that should not keep me from staying in touch. (Scribbled below that) Need to become more feeling -- rather than saying I can deal with the situation Learn how to feel through it. Don't push the feelings aside Feel them.... and then move on. (The Poem on the book mark) DON'T QUIT Don't quite when the tide is lowest, For it's just about to turn; Don't quit over doubts and questions, For there's something you may learn. Don't quit when the night is darkest, For it's just a while 'til dawn; Don't quit when you've run the farthest, For the race is almost won. Don't quit when the hill is steepest, For your goal is almost nigh; Don't quit, for you're not a failure Until you fail to try. ~Jill Wolf |
As the editor of my company's newsletter, I often reflect upon my own life experiences as a basis for my weekly editorial. This is what I wrote last week (8/23/02) and Danny has asked that I share it here. ~Patty If I were to ask you to name a hero, who do you think you might pick? A political figure? Abraham Lincoln, maybe? Or perhaps a sports figure like Walter Payton? How many of you would choose a fictional character or super-hero, like Luke Skywalker or Spider-Man, as your hero? In the wake of 9-11, more Americans have defined firefighters as heroes, while others feel the passengers on Flight 93 were heroes of the truest form. Merriam-Websters defines a hero as a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities; one that shows great courage. By this definition, heroes are everywhere. Not only in the people I described above, but in every city, on every street, in every home...indeed, in every life. A week ago, I was in Dallas for the funeral of my brother's wife, Debby, who died of breast cancer at the age of 34. I watched a young man whom I have always considered a good person, but still as just my "little brother," stand up in front of his family, his friends and his children and deliver a beautiful eulogy, his voice cracking with emotion but his words never faltering. Despite his broken heart and fear of the life that lies ahead without his beloved wife, he found some inner strength and courage beyond my understanding, and through his tears, he lowered her ashes into the ground himself. I stood there in amazement and watched the eyes of his children as they watched their father's selfless act. They, too, stayed strong, Allie reciting a poem from memory, Andy wiping away a tear that trickled down his cheek. Afterwards, when all was said and done, they held each other and cried as a family. Through his actions, not words, Danny quietly taught his children how to be strong when they needed to be, and how to lean on each other when it was time to cry. My admiration for my brother has never been stronger. He is my hero. Now, who is yours? And more importantly, to whom are you? You may not realize it, but to someone out there, you too are a hero, maybe for reasons you don't even recognize. Live your life accordingly. |
Beautiful angel We love you so Now in heaven To look upon us below Beautiful angel We will never part For you will always be In each of our hearts Beautiful angel So sweet, so true Everyday We will think of you Beautiful angel In death you are gone But your gracious spirit Will always live on ~Jenny Shaw |
As we approach the first anniversary of Debby's passing into God's Kingdom, Danny continues to prove his love through an unsurpassed strength and grace. Click here to bear witness... |
